Posted at 10:14 AM
She has always been my friend, my lover and my secret escape. It's like a long lost friend that seemed to still fit so nicely with you even after years of being apart, as if nothing has changed. It's like a faithful lover who patiently waits and accepts you after being apart for a long time.
While it is true that she has been faithful to me, I admit that I have not, but she still takes me in her reluctant embrace and weary eyes.
I am so sorry.
I wish things weren't as they are. I wish there was a better way.
I'm sorry that I left you, and I'm sorry that I will still be leaving you, but you know very well how much I would want to hold you, cherish you and let you wrap your arms around me until I breathe my last breath.
I know it is wishful thinking to always think that you'll stay and continue to wait for me even after I leave you.
But I want to let you know...
...that nothing even came close to the happiness you gave me.
I had money, I had power, I had friends, but none was ever able to touch me, move me, embrace me...
...love me the way you did.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry that I am so confused. I'm sorry that I couldn't fight for you, I couldn't stand for you and wait for you like you did for me.
I'm sorry for needing, for wanting things you cannot give me. I'm sorry that I couldn't stand by you.
Now I look at my hands, tired and weary from years of toil, my heart burdened and confused...
...and ask myself, "are you still there"?
My hands tremble, tired, but I hear a faint, weak voice in my heart:
"I never left."
I'm coming back to you. And this time I will cherish you, love you, and bring you back to how you were before.
Because you are my first love, my faithful friend, my cherished lover.
Thank you, art, for not leaving me.
Secret Garden - Heartstrings
